used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
