The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
