After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
