There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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