we're blogging at a bar
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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