Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
