they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
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putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
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Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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