ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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