My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize