He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
