Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
