entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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