I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
