i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
