I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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