idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
