Cold hands, warm shart.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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