Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
