perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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