So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
