Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
