Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
