Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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