I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize