I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He felt like a one man threesome
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
