vagina is talking i cant
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
