If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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