is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize