i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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