you're like a bully in the Christmas story
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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