Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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