Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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