Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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