And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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