I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
