New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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