Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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