I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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