Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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