thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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