You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So apparently I’m into choking now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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