Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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