i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
