yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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