I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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