she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
