It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
