I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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