I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
