How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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