i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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