Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
