i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
