Your tits are I can't wait for
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
