im drinking this country out of the recession.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
