Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
the liver wants what the liver wants
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
