Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
