How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
