I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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