I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
