i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's shark week go big or go home
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
