My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
