I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
