It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
